On Suicide Cutting and Other Things That Make People Cringe
I have often said that suicide is the point where a persons pain outweighs their ability to cope. Some of us cut ourselves for that endorphin rush that follows. The physical pain outweighs the...
View ArticlePunctuation Kills!!
Take this phrase, I often used it with my students when I was a teacher. “Let’s eat, Grandma” and “Let’s eat Grandma” Two totally different meanings and a tiny thing like a comma makes so much of a...
View ArticleSubtle Kind of Crazy
Some days I am reminded that I am still crazy. Not the subtle kind of crazy that most people are but the screaming kind of crazy that most people run away from or are locked up for. In a way I am...
View ArticleOn the Edge
As I curl in my living prison watching the leaves that shielded me all day I realize that it is happening again. The reason why I live my life in this desolate land of twisted images and all things...
View ArticleOk So I am a bit more fucked up than normal
Rule number 1 Always have an exit strategy Rule number 2 When you start to make your self think that you are crazy you probably are Rule number 3 When you can no longer cope use the exit strategy When...
View ArticleWhat I want
I offer to let you use me in any way that you want – no request is too strange or unusual. I would love for you to do to me what pops into that wonderfully wicked brain of yours. Ever wonder why… every...
View ArticleNot OK
He said he would love me but was scared of the 1% of the time I was crazy. So he doesnt want me. Why does that bother me? Because I don’t want me. No one does. Obsecro, mihi facultas videndi Deum...
View ArticleNever Be
I will never be normal I will never be thin I will never be pretty I will never be loved When asked how others would describe me I say; arrogant, ugly, worthless, tired, aggressive, broken, fractured,...
View ArticleRandom bits of writing
Pulling into a nearby truck stop he looked around with eyes that were not exactly his and not exactly sane. Finding a one at the truck stop wasn’t difficult, since he got back he could feel them. It...
View ArticleOn the Edge of a Blade
My eyes slip closed and my head slips back with a soft thump against the concrete wall. I keep my eyes closed knowing all to well what I will see it is what my body feels right now. I want to open my...
View ArticleDownward Spiral
A unique look at what wanders around in the darkness that is my mind. All of the slithering, slick things that twist and curl their way around important parts, beautiful memories. Corrupting them...
View ArticlePlease Excuse My Rant
I am extremely disappointed in a variety of things lately. It amazes me that things like depression, suicide, and agoraphobia are still miss understood. Recently I was dragged from my home, handcuffed...
View ArticlePublic Stigma and Reasons for Hiding
I speak often of the depression I suffer from. Sometimes it is in graphically descriptive terms as many of my posts are and other times it is plainly as this post is shaping up to be. I recently went...
View ArticleNot Me
I have not been myself lately or rather I have been too much myself lately locked inside my own little world begging for escape. I look around at the people with me who don’t know me at all and slip...
View ArticleThe Clowns are chewing away in the most painfully unpleasant fashion
A hate has been rising up in me. It started as a slow burn that only twinged a little bit. You know the feeling when you see, do, or have done to you something that is only slightly unjust. It can be...
View ArticleThere is Nothing Again
In the past weeks I have tried to write honestly I have. Unfortunately everything seems to be coming out just wrong. It is like I can no longer use writing to articulate what is in my head and even the...
View ArticleMemory in a Dream
Tonight is one of those nights where the nightmares are real and they just won’t stop. Where if I could bring myself to touch someone I might just want that contact. Not even the person I am currently...
View ArticleMoral Calculus
It is funny that people respond more to the rehashed photos and sayings that I include rather than what I am actually saying. This happens here as well as in reality. What is really funny about the...
View ArticleApologies and obscenely happy goats
I am sorry to everyone who follows this blog. I have not posted in a while mostly because I haven’t written anything in a while. It’s funny when life gets in the way of well… life. It is not always...
View ArticleTime to Engage in Dangerous Behaviors
This is one of those nights where every fiber in my body is vibrating and I can think of nothing more fun than sinking to my knees in front of the nearest stranger. Filthy bathrooms in worn out clubs...
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